Colleen sums up the controversy surrounding the Barry Bonds situation: “Well you know, some people would like to see the record fall and others are kind of, ‘eh-eh’.”
Yup, that just about covers it. The most hated player in baseball since Shoeless Joe Jackson is on the brink of breaking the most important record in the game. He’s one of the greatest hitters to ever step up to the plate, but accusations of steroid use (and a surly attitude) compel fans in nearly every ballpark outside of San Francisco to viciously boo they guy. The commissioner of Major League Baseball didn't even want to be around for the event because of all the controversy surrounding Bonds.
This is one of the most polarizing issues this sport has ever seen and it’s probably something baseball pundits will be debating until the end of time. So our erudite CBC sports reporter blows it off like it’s no more significant than a smog warning in southern Ontario? Puh-leeeze.
Which brings me to another funny point. Colleen conducted an interview with NASCAR driver Ron Fellows, who ran the fastest lap in qualifying for this weekend’s race in Montreal and all she wanted to ask him about was the weather. “How do you deal with the heat in those cars?”
You gotta stick to your strength, I guess, but do you really think the Canadian summer is going to affect these guys? They just ran a race in Daytona a month ago. The league is based in the American south. I think they can handle a muggy day in Montreal.
In other news: hockey arenas are cold.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Rhymes with "Pitch"
Not much to report from today's show beyond Colleen's normal painful delivery. However, she repeatedly pronounced the surname of Blue Jays' rookie pitcher, Jesse Litsch, as "Lish." His name actually rhymes with "pitch."
You'd know that if you watched the game, but I don't blame you for not watching, Colleen. You have to get up early for your show. And who's got time to waste on watching silly baseball games?
You'd know that if you watched the game, but I don't blame you for not watching, Colleen. You have to get up early for your show. And who's got time to waste on watching silly baseball games?
Monday, July 30, 2007
This morning, as Colleen did the highlights from the Canadian Open, she announced to the country that the tournament was played at Glen Abbey, then paused for a second, stared at her notes and continued, "Yes, yes, I believe it is at Glen Abbey."
The tournament was played at Angus Glen.
Close enough, I guess. At least she got Jim Furyk's name right.
The tournament was played at Angus Glen.
Close enough, I guess. At least she got Jim Furyk's name right.
Top 5 incredulous exclamations brought on by watching Colleen Jones on CBC Newsworld
1) You're a Sports Reporter?! She may be the winningest female curler in Canadian history, but she knows sweet F.A. about sports. I mean real sports -- ones that may actually raise the heartrates of participants more than say, doing laundry. I once heard her mispronounce LeBron James' name. Come on. He's kinda famous.
2) Buy this woman a monitor!! I'm so sick of listening to this woman botch highlight reels as she obviously reads a script (which I'm sure she didn't write) without even bothering to try to match her words to the pictures we're watching on the screen. It's painful. As a sports fan, I find it not only amateurish, but also insulting. I'd rather watch Chantal Hebert do the sports.
3) Nice frickin' hair!! I didn't create this blog to make personal attacks on Ms. Jones, but man, if you were going to be on TV in front of the whole country, wouldn't you at least run a comb through you're hair? She looks like she rode work in the crow's nest of a pirate ship. And that lipstick? She looks like Steve Buschemi in Billy Madison -- and if that's the case, I think I just earned myself a top spot on her hitlist.
4) Talk much?! I know it's early in the morning, but come on, Colleen. Have a cup of coffee or something. She stumbles over her words so much she makes Paula Abdul sound like Lawrence Olivier. If you're going to look that bad, take a cue from Peter Mansbridge and at least make sure you sound good.
5) How did you get this job?! She's like the female Don Cherry. She's untrained, unpolished, possibly illiterate and difficult to watch. It's bad enough that the CBC will give airtime to a bumbling, senile bigot like Cherry, but as poorly spoken and abbrasive as the old fart is, at least he can claim a significant cult following. On air, Colleen is about as polished as an extra in a Trailer Park Boys outtake and her misprounced names, missed cues and general scatterbrained, slipshod delivery is enough to make you ... well, start a blog to have her fired.
2) Buy this woman a monitor!! I'm so sick of listening to this woman botch highlight reels as she obviously reads a script (which I'm sure she didn't write) without even bothering to try to match her words to the pictures we're watching on the screen. It's painful. As a sports fan, I find it not only amateurish, but also insulting. I'd rather watch Chantal Hebert do the sports.
3) Nice frickin' hair!! I didn't create this blog to make personal attacks on Ms. Jones, but man, if you were going to be on TV in front of the whole country, wouldn't you at least run a comb through you're hair? She looks like she rode work in the crow's nest of a pirate ship. And that lipstick? She looks like Steve Buschemi in Billy Madison -- and if that's the case, I think I just earned myself a top spot on her hitlist.
4) Talk much?! I know it's early in the morning, but come on, Colleen. Have a cup of coffee or something. She stumbles over her words so much she makes Paula Abdul sound like Lawrence Olivier. If you're going to look that bad, take a cue from Peter Mansbridge and at least make sure you sound good.
5) How did you get this job?! She's like the female Don Cherry. She's untrained, unpolished, possibly illiterate and difficult to watch. It's bad enough that the CBC will give airtime to a bumbling, senile bigot like Cherry, but as poorly spoken and abbrasive as the old fart is, at least he can claim a significant cult following. On air, Colleen is about as polished as an extra in a Trailer Park Boys outtake and her misprounced names, missed cues and general scatterbrained, slipshod delivery is enough to make you ... well, start a blog to have her fired.
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