This morning, as Colleen did the highlights from the Canadian Open, she announced to the country that the tournament was played at Glen Abbey, then paused for a second, stared at her notes and continued, "Yes, yes, I believe it is at Glen Abbey."
The tournament was played at Angus Glen.
Close enough, I guess. At least she got Jim Furyk's name right.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Top 5 incredulous exclamations brought on by watching Colleen Jones on CBC Newsworld
1) You're a Sports Reporter?! She may be the winningest female curler in Canadian history, but she knows sweet F.A. about sports. I mean real sports -- ones that may actually raise the heartrates of participants more than say, doing laundry. I once heard her mispronounce LeBron James' name. Come on. He's kinda famous.
2) Buy this woman a monitor!! I'm so sick of listening to this woman botch highlight reels as she obviously reads a script (which I'm sure she didn't write) without even bothering to try to match her words to the pictures we're watching on the screen. It's painful. As a sports fan, I find it not only amateurish, but also insulting. I'd rather watch Chantal Hebert do the sports.
3) Nice frickin' hair!! I didn't create this blog to make personal attacks on Ms. Jones, but man, if you were going to be on TV in front of the whole country, wouldn't you at least run a comb through you're hair? She looks like she rode work in the crow's nest of a pirate ship. And that lipstick? She looks like Steve Buschemi in Billy Madison -- and if that's the case, I think I just earned myself a top spot on her hitlist.
4) Talk much?! I know it's early in the morning, but come on, Colleen. Have a cup of coffee or something. She stumbles over her words so much she makes Paula Abdul sound like Lawrence Olivier. If you're going to look that bad, take a cue from Peter Mansbridge and at least make sure you sound good.
5) How did you get this job?! She's like the female Don Cherry. She's untrained, unpolished, possibly illiterate and difficult to watch. It's bad enough that the CBC will give airtime to a bumbling, senile bigot like Cherry, but as poorly spoken and abbrasive as the old fart is, at least he can claim a significant cult following. On air, Colleen is about as polished as an extra in a Trailer Park Boys outtake and her misprounced names, missed cues and general scatterbrained, slipshod delivery is enough to make you ... well, start a blog to have her fired.
2) Buy this woman a monitor!! I'm so sick of listening to this woman botch highlight reels as she obviously reads a script (which I'm sure she didn't write) without even bothering to try to match her words to the pictures we're watching on the screen. It's painful. As a sports fan, I find it not only amateurish, but also insulting. I'd rather watch Chantal Hebert do the sports.
3) Nice frickin' hair!! I didn't create this blog to make personal attacks on Ms. Jones, but man, if you were going to be on TV in front of the whole country, wouldn't you at least run a comb through you're hair? She looks like she rode work in the crow's nest of a pirate ship. And that lipstick? She looks like Steve Buschemi in Billy Madison -- and if that's the case, I think I just earned myself a top spot on her hitlist.
4) Talk much?! I know it's early in the morning, but come on, Colleen. Have a cup of coffee or something. She stumbles over her words so much she makes Paula Abdul sound like Lawrence Olivier. If you're going to look that bad, take a cue from Peter Mansbridge and at least make sure you sound good.
5) How did you get this job?! She's like the female Don Cherry. She's untrained, unpolished, possibly illiterate and difficult to watch. It's bad enough that the CBC will give airtime to a bumbling, senile bigot like Cherry, but as poorly spoken and abbrasive as the old fart is, at least he can claim a significant cult following. On air, Colleen is about as polished as an extra in a Trailer Park Boys outtake and her misprounced names, missed cues and general scatterbrained, slipshod delivery is enough to make you ... well, start a blog to have her fired.
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